


Healing a Heart

by Awesomepie3221



Category: Achievement Hunter, Rooster Teeth
Genre: Comas - Freeform, F/F, F/M, I wrote the first three chapters over a year ago so it's pretty bad, M/M, Multi, attempted suicide, but the rest is just me, this was a collab for the first three chapters
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-05-16
Updated: 2014-05-16
Packaged: 2018-01-25 09:40:37
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 3
Words: 8,601
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1644155
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Awesomepie3221/pseuds/Awesomepie3221
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Michael resorts to other methods instead of confessing his love for Gavin.</p><p>(Old fanfiction based off a roleplay of a friend and I's. This will not be finished.)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Truth or Dare is Dangerous

**Author's Note:**

> I thought Ray could drive and had a car when I wrote this.

  Griffon blew out the candles on her birthday cake.    
  
“Happy birthday, sweety.” Geoff wrapped her into a hug and kissed her.  
  
“Thanks, honey.”  
  
“Now, let’s bring out the drinks and paaaaarty!” Lindsay yelled.  
  
“Already got a head start!” Gavin shouted taking a swig of beer.  
  
“Wow, Gavin,” Michael said as he rolled his eyes.  
  
Miles clapped his hands. “All right. Kerry and I are going to play a game. Anyone want to join?” Everyone wanted to.  
  
“Kerry shall explain.”  
  
“We’re going to play Truth or Dare and a shot game. Everyone -but, Ray, since he doesn’t drink- will take a shot every time Michael swears, Ray mentions roses, and Gavin says something retarded.”  
  
“Well, you’re all fucked,” Ray admitted.  
  
“You got that right,” Geoff replied.  
  
“Ray, you can go first since you can’t play the shot game.”  
  
“Hmm…” Ray looked around the room, “Michael! Truth or Dare?”  
  
“Dare.”  
  
“I dare you to say Apple Jack is best pony.”  
  
“No way! Fluttershy is fucking way better!”  
  
“That’s a shot,” Geoff took one as he said that.  
  
“Say it,” Ray urged on.  
  
“Just tease it, Michael,” Gavin said in that sexy accent that makes Michael’s heart leap every time he hears it.  
  
“Shut up, Gavin.” Gavin chuckled. “A.J. Is best pony,” Michael whispered.  
  
“Louder.”  
  
“A.J. Is best pony! Happy?” Ray nodded.  
  
“Your turn Michael,” Kerry said.  
  
Michael turned to Lindsay, “Truth or Dare?” He asked.  
  
“Truth.”  
  
“Are you planning to get drunk?”  
  
“Why wouldn’t I?!” She shouted in response. She looked around, searching for who she should pick.  
  
“I’m going down!” Gavin yelled as his head hit the ground.  
  
“Did he just pass out?” Joel asked.  
  
“I believe so,” Chris replied.  
  
“I shall choose…” Lindsay continued to look, “Brownman!”  
  
“What? Some one  say my name?” Ray was recently looking at Gavin.  
  
“Truth or Dare?”  
  
“Oh. I choose… Dare.”  
  
“I dare you to take off your shirt and hug Kerry.”  
  
“Okay.” He got a mischievous smirk on his face and slid off his ‘I’m Going Cakeless’ shirt and walked over to the younger man. He grabbed him, locking him into a hug.  
  
“Enjoying this?” Ray teasingly asked.  
  
“Let go of me, Ray.” Ray let go. He backed up and put his shirt back on.  
  
“Michael, truth or dare?” He asked the boy sitting next to him.  
  
“Dare.”  
  
“Hm…” Ray looked around the room when his gaze locked onto a certain passed out British man. Michael noticed this and his stomach sank. He knew what Ray was going to make him do.  
  
“Fuck no. I am not doing that!” Michael said as Ray got a smug look.  
  
“Do what?” Miles asked.  
  
“Michael here has been dared to kiss Gavvy~,” Ray said. Everyone’s eyes went wide.  
  
“Do it!” Lindsay yelled.  
  
“Come on, Mi-Cool,” Ray teasingly urged.  
  
“Fine,” He said unhappily. He crawled over to Gavin. “But this is bull shit,” He said as he leaned over the passed out Brit.  
  
“Sorry, buddy.” He gently picked up the taller man’s head and slowly put his lips onto the blond’s.  Michael turned his head slightly to the right, so that their noses wouldn’t bump each other. The auburn closed his eyes, savoring the sweet taste of Gavin’s lips. Time got past him. He forgot where he was. He forgot _who_ he was. All he could remember was all his memories that had to do with Gavin. The time her threw wet bread onto Gavin’s desk. The time Gavin disconnected the mouse while playing Slender. The time that he killed the squids that Gavin so desperately needed to win. The time that he took a bet to eat a five pound gummy bear from Gavin. Every single memory was rummaging threw his mind.  
  
For what seemed like hours, he finally leaned up and opened his eyes. He remembered everything that was going on once he saw Ray’s smug face. Michael’s face was quickly red.  
  
“Okay, Michael, who you gonna pick?” Lindsay said, feeling Michael’s embarrassment.  
  
“Miles.”  
  
“Okay, dare,” He said while picking up his drink.  
  
“Kiss Kerry.” Miles spit out his beer.  
  
“What?!”  
  
“It’s a dare, you little fuckers. You have to do it.” Everyone forgot to take a shot. “Do it!” Michael yelled, frustrated.  
  
Miles looked at the blond sitting next to him. They both shrugged. They both turned their heads. They kissed, letting go a few seconds later.  
  
“Wasn’t that bad,” Miles said. Kerry chuckled.  
  
“Joel, truth or dare?” Miles said looking at Joel, who had Joe the Cat.  
  
“Truth.”  
  
“Mogar wears purple underwear!” Gavin screamed suddenly jumping up. Michael’s eyes went wide.  
  
“Umm..,” Michael started, “I have no idea where he got that.” Ray laughed at Michael and Gavin’s words. Everyone took a shot at Gavin’s retarded words.  
  
Gavin crawled over to everyone and plopped down next to Geoff and Ray.  
  
“D-did some-someone kiss me?” Gavin stuttered, looking at Ray, who was looking at Michael with his smug look on again.  
  
  
“Mi-Cool here did,” Ray answered, purposely mimicking Gavin’s accent when he said ‘Michael’. Michael started to blush, furiously.  
  
“Did I do good?” Gavin asked, doing a certain voice that makes Michael’s heart miss a beat.  
  
“Terrible,” Michael sarcastically replied. Gavin chuckled.  
  
“Okay, Joel, do you like pancakes~?” Miles sung, obviously drunk.  
  
Joel chuckled then replied with, “Yes, I like pancakes~.”  
  
“Do you like waffles~?” Lindsay snuck in.  
  
“Yes, I like waffles~,” Kerry sung.  
  
“Do you like french toast~?” This time Geoff sung, his voice cracking in the middle.  
  
“Yes, I like french toast~,” Ray finished. The whole room burst out laughing.  
  
“Okay, Joel, your turn,” Michael said in between laughter.  
  
“Oooh! Joel, pick me! I wanna go!” Gavin begged.  
  
“Fine,” Joel sighed, “Gavin, truth or dare?”  
  
“Truth!” Gavin said happily.  
  
“Would you rather date Dan or Michael?”  
  
Gavin frowned, “What?”  
  
“Who would you date?”  
  
“I don’t know how to answer that.”  
  
“Come on, Vav, answer the question.” Ray said, nudging Gavin.  
  
“How do I answer it, though?!”  
  
“Come on, buddy,” Geoff urged him on. Michael looked at everything and everybody in the room, except for the British male, for he knew who Gavin would pick.  
  
“I don’t want to say!”  
  
“How hard can it be?” Miles asked.  
  
“If we can get Michael to kiss you, and we can get Miles and Kerry to kiss, why can’t we get you to chose who to date?” Joel stated.  
  
“It’s not like any of us will remember with our massive hangovers! Well, except Ray, he’ll remember,” Griffon said.  
  
“I do-”  
  
“It’s so obvious, Gavin. You don’t have to be upset by what I think. I think it’s adorable how you like Dan. He is a looker. I mean, it’s only normal, right?” Michael interrupted.  
  
“I don-”  
  
“It’s okay, Gavin,” Michael interrupted again. “I don’t care. Now, if you will excuse me, I have to go get something from my office,” He said, his voice cracking, trying not to cry. And with that said, Michael was up and gone within seconds.

——

He shut the door to his office, breathing heavily. He ran to his desk and opened the bottom left drawer. He grabbed the sharp razor, and slumped on the wall. He hadn’t used it in a while. Gavin was his reason for stopping.    
  
Michael calmed his breathing, and slid his shirt off. The auburn gritted his teeth, getting prepared for the pain.  
  
“Sorry, Gavin,” He whispered under his breath. He moved the razor over to his left arm.  
  
‘ _I can cover them up until they heal up,_ ' He was thinking about the cuts he was about to make.  He set the razor on his light skin then made a large slit in his skin. He did his best to bear the pain, as he watched his arm turn red with blood. He felt fresh tears gather at his eyes, but he ignored them as he made another cut.  
  
  
——————-  
  
“He’s been up there for a while, Ray. Should we go see what Michael’s doing up there?” Gavin asked Ray, leaning towards him, watching the rest of the guests laughing their heads off.  
  
Ray stood up as a response to Gavin. He started walking to the door.  
  
“X-Ray and Vav will be back,” He shouted, than shot them a peace sign. Gavin scurried after the brunette. After a bit they walked into his office. Gavin gasped at what he saw. There lied Michael with six, ongoing seven, cuts. Michael heard Gavin’s gasp and quickly pulled the razor up, cutting a vein in the process.  
  
“What are you doing, Michael?!” Gavin yelled, sobbing. Ray just stood there, his mouth wide.  
  
“Um… Uh..,” Michael stuttered before bursting out in tears. He threw the razor with his non-bleeding arm. It smacked the wall with a crack and broke.  
  
Gavin hurried toward the bleeding auburn. He took Michael’s chin, and made direct eye contact.  
  
“I-I’m sorry, Gavin,” Michael’s voice cracked. He laid his head in his hands, not wanting to look the Brit in the eyes.  
  
“I like you, Michael! Not Dan!” Michael looked back at Gavin, his face now caked with blood from his still bleeding cuts.  
  
“I was going to say you, Mi-Cool!” Michael stared at Gavin. “Dan is awesome and all, but I like you!” Gavin stood up, forcing Michael to stand with him. He pulled Michael into a tight embrace.  
  
“Don’t ever cut yourself again. I love you too much. Okay, Michael?” Michael went to respond, but instead coughed.  
  
“Everything’s so… diz-” Michael collapsed on the floor.  
  
“Michael!” Ray and Gavin yelled in unison.  
  
“Get up!” Ray shouted, running to him. He scooped the bleeding boy up. “Go get the others, Gavin!” He shouted to Gavin, running to the door.  
  
“But, bu-”  
  
“Do it!” Gavin leaped back at the sudden strictness in Ray’s voice. He started to run downstairs, alongside Ray.  
  
“I’m taking him to the hospital.” Ray ran outside and put Michael in his car, while Gavin ran to the party. Geoff was the first to notice the sobbing Brit at the door. He got up and walked over to Gavin.  
  
“What’s wrong?” He asked in a worried voice.  
  
“Mi-” Gavin couldn’t finish.    
  
“Tell us.”  
  
“Mic- He cut himself.” Gavin said in between sobs.  
  
“What?!” Lindsay dizzily said, getting up.  
  
“Where is he now?” Miles asked, his voice soft, no sign of strictness in it.  
  
“Ray’s – Ray is taking him to the hospital.”  
  
At that moment everyone noticed how bloody Gavin actually was.  
  
“Gavin. Let’s go. Griffon and I will take you to the hospital,” Geoff said. All three of them walked to Geoff’s car, it now thundering, and raining hard.  
  
———  
Ray pulled up to the hospital. He hopped out and grabbed Michael in the back seat. He didn’t notice how bloody his car seats were.  
  
He ran into the emergency room.  
  
“Someone help! He’s losing blood fast!” Ray said, running into the room.  
  
A doctor and a nurse were quickly there. They took Michael from Ray’s arms and rushed him into a room, hoping they could stop the blood flowing from Michael’s wounds. With Michael’s weight off his shoulders Ray walked to the clerk.  
  
“Do I have to fill out some forum?” He asked, trying not to cry.  
  
“Yes.” She handed him a clipboard and a pen. He sat on a leather chair, starting to fill out the forum.  
  
—-  
  
“Wheres Mi-Cool?!” Gavin shouted, jumping out of his sleep.  
  
“We’re almost to the hospital, Gavin,” Geoff said in a comforting tone.  
  
“Mmm.,” Gavin mumbled, trying to keep himself from panicking.  
  
Another two minutes passed until Geoff parked.  
  
“Is he sleeping again?” He asked his wife, who was sitting in the passenger seat.  
  
“Yup. Want me to wake him up?” Griffon asked.  
  
“Nah, I’ll do it. Go see how Ray is doing. I’ll be there in a minute,” Griffon nodded then hopped out of the car.  
  
Geoff got out and opened the door that led to the back seat.  
  
“Wake up, Gavin.” Geoff nudged Gavin a tiny bit.  
  
“Are we here…?” Gavin asked groggily.  
  
“Yes. Come on.” Geoff helped him out of the car. They both walked in the hospital.  
  
“Ray…? How’s Michael?”  
  
“I don’t know,” Ray answered sadly while Gavin sat next to him. Just then the doctor walked in, 

“Ray Narveaz Jr.?”  
  
“Right here.”  
  
“We’ve got some bad news.” Gavin and Ray’s stomach sank.  
  
“What is it?” Ray asked, preparing for the worst.  
  
“We tried to stop the bleeding, we did all we could, but it seems that your friend cut a very important vein, and has slipped into a coma.”  
  
“No, no, no,” Ray shook his head, “No! Not Michael! He’s too tough for that!”  
  
“I’m afraid I’m not joking,” The doctor sadly said.  
  
“Mi-Cool..,” Gavin quietly whispered, trying to take in what the doctor had just said.  
  
“This is just a dream, Gavin,” Ray started to do his best to comfort the British man. “Just a bad nightmare. I’ll wake up soon then this’ll be all over.”  
  
“We’re not in a dream Ray.,” Gavin said.  
  
“How do you know?!” Ray snapped.  
  
“I just know!” Gavin snapped back.  
  
“Gavin… I’m sorry… I’m just very upset.”  
  
“So am I, Ray.”    
  
“May we please stay at the hospital with Michael?” Ray asked the nurse after looking for the doctor, who had left by now.  
  
“Let me go ask Dr. Josh,” The nurse replied. Ray nodded.  
  
“I’m scared, Ray,” Gavin admitted.  
  
“So am I, Gavin, so am I.”  
  
The nurse walked back in, this time with the doctor.  
  
“You guys may stay with your friend if you want,” The doctor answered the question Ray asked earlier.  
  
“Thank you, Doctor.”  
  
“Follow me,” He said, motioning for the two friends to follow him.  
  
“Okay.” They started to follow him.  
  
After a bit, they walked into Michael’s room. Gavin walked over to Michael, laying peacefully in his bed.  
  
“Mi-Cool… Please wake up. I love you. I don’t know what I’ll do without you, Michael,” Gavin admitted, wiping his sleeve across his eyes, wiping away the tears that threatened to invade his eyes. Ray listened to what Gavin was saying, feeling the Brit’s pain. He walked over to a couch, he would let Gavin have the bed.  
  
“Ray, Michael, stay with me,” Gavin mumbled before drifting off to sleep.  
  
“I will Gavin, I will. Team Lads forever,” Ray said before snuggling to the blanket that had been laid on the couch for him.


	2. It's Not Your Fault, Joel

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Joel blames himself for Gavin and Michael's misfortune.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Triggers: Attempted suicide.

Joel walked into the Rooster Teeth office and didn’t even bother signing in, he ignored Kara and just walked on. He was in a horrible mood, he didn’t want to bother with anyone today; let alone come to work. But he had too, or else he would be fired. He felt like the world was out to get him right, he was upset.

 

Honestly, nothing could describe how he felt right now. He had been such an ass to Michael last night; asking Gavin that stupid question. Now because of it, Michael was in a coma, Gavin was probably balling his eyes out, and he felt it was all his fault; it practically was. He took a seat and rested his arms on the table, groaning, he placed his face in his palms.

 

What was he to do? It wasn’t as if Michael was just going to wake and forget everything; it wasn’t as if he was forgiven that easily. He wanted to die. To take a knife and slit his throat, to take a gun and shoot his heart out, he didn’t want to live in the world anymore for what he had done. Michael had been one of his closest friends; how could he do this to him!

 

"Joel?" The male jumped in his seat as he heard his name. He looked up and was shocked to see Matt standing there looking confused. "You okay there, man?" He inquired, taking a seat across from Joel at the table.

 

The actor sighed bitterly and looked down at the table, “Matt, I’m such a dick. I don’t deserve to work here anymore; I don’t deserve to live either,” He muttered his words softy, so that Matt would be the only one to hear them. Matt’s eyes grew wide at just the thought of Joel this way; Joel would never think this way!

 

"What happened and where did the real Joel Heyman go?" Matt questioned, looking really displeased.

 

"Right fucking here. You got the full thing in your eye sight. Just a bundle of asshole," Joel said, clearly depressed and feeling horrible.

 

"Why do you say that?"

 

"You weren’t at the party last night?" Joel asked.

 

"I got tied up with other stuff so I wasn’t able to make it. Anyway, may I know what happened?" Matt asked with care in his voice. He’d understand if Joel didn’t want to tell him, it seemed like he did a horrible thing.

 

Joel wiped away a few tears and sighed, “Well, we were playing Truth or Dare and I truthed Gavin the question ‘Would you rather date Dan or Michael?’ and after a bit of Gavin refusing to answer, Michael just..cracked. He ran up to his office and Ray and Gavin went up about five minutes later to see him cutting himself,” Joel answered sincerely.

 

"That isn’t your fault, Joel! Don’t you fucking think like that," Matt yelled at him, he was about to say more when he heard a familiar deep voice behind him.

 

"Hi," Jack said.

 

Joel ignored the deep voice belonging to Jack and glared at Matt,

 

"It was my fault, I was the one who asked the damn question!" His retort was bitter and he was clearly not happy. Jack’s eyes grew wide as he heard Joel’s words; he didn’t have to ask what was going on.

 

"Joel, stop blaming yourself!" He warned, towering over them both as they sat there, still seated in their seats.

 

"How can I not blame myself when it’s my fault?!" Joel hissed, getting annoyed with them. All he wanted was peace and silence, he wanted to be free of everything; of the blame for what he’s done.

 

Matt looked from Jack to Joel and sighed, standing up,

 

"I think we should all go out for coffee." He was more so doing this for Joel’s sake; he was obviously not going to stop blaming himself for this.

 

"I’m not thirsty, I’m going to go back home, call in sick," Joel said as he stood up. Everything right now was just too much for him, he was going to run from it; the only way a coward like him could to get away from it all.

 

"No, you’ll come with us to get coffee Joel," Jack said harshly, grabbing the male by his arm and nodding at Matt.

 

If it were Matt pulling him, he would of already been in his car, driving home, but since it was Jack, he was forced into Starbucks, sipping on coffee Matt and Jack had forced him to get.

 

"Why did I let you guys bring me in here?" He asked, very grumpily, taking a sip of his coffee afterward.

 

"You didn’t. Jack had to pull you out," Matt answered.

 

"Right," Jack added, still a bit exhausted from hauling Joel into the car.

 

"Why can’t I go home?"

 

"Because," Matt said stubbornly. He wasn’t about to allow Joel out of this shop.

 

"Can I go now?" Joel said, walked over to the nearest trash can and throwing away the empty cup. He reluctantly sat back down in his seat and stared at his two friends, not a glint of happiness in his eyes.

 

"No," Jack said. He drank the rest of his coffee and slammed it on the counter, clearly upset with Joel.

"Joel, you _need_ to know that you didn’t do this. AT ALL!” Jack yelled, gaining some attention from the people sitting nearby.

 

"You can say that all you want, I won’t believe it."

 

"It’s true, Joel. It isn’t your fault! Sure, you asked a question that you regret, but that doesn’t mean Michael would of cracked anyway! He most likely would of and you fucking know it!" Matt was yelling but at the end started yelling in more of a whisper.

 

"Yeah, I get it, it wasn’t my fault."

 

Matt smiled in triumph as he accomplished victory of making Joel think that way. Jack seemed slightly wary, but he reluctantly let it slide.

 

Little did they know, Joel was still doubtful; he would be for awhile now. He had caused Michael and Gavin pain, of course he would still he would still hate himself.

 

Once the trio had gotten in Jacks car, Joel asked if they could take him home. Both Jack and Matt stared at one another, exchanging glances; but both sighed nonetheless. They would take Joel home, he seemed to be okay for the time being.

 

As the two agreed to taking him home, Joel laid his head on the windowsill and closed his eyes; he was tired. But he had no worries, he would soon be rid of the guilt and stress; he would escape, for lack of a better word. He knew it was stupid, but it was the only possible solution. And the thought of being rid of stress and shame was even exhilarating for him.

 

"Joel, wake up Joel," He stirred at the sound of his name on Jack’s lips.

 

"Hmm?" He asked, sitting up and yawning.

 

"We’re here."

 

"Okay, thanks for taking me." Joel smiled, getting out of the car and starring at Matt and Jack as they had their windows rolled down.

 

"Will you be okay?" Matt asked calmly, having heard the full story from Jack when Joel passed out in the backseat.

 

"Of course, why do you ask?" Joel laughed it off and turned, not listening to their next answers. Casually, he strode upstairs and into his apartment.

 

Once he was inside, Joel looked around; he wasn’t going to back down. Striding into his living room, he quickly turned off his ceiling fan and had the lights off. He moved on into the kitchen and pulled a table chair from it and sat it directly under the ceiling fan.

 

 _Where could I find a noose?_ He thought to himself, looking around; where would he keep a rope in his apartment?

 

The actor moved into his little work office and searched around in there, finding nothing.

 

Sighing, Joel decided that he could just use a substitute for the rope. He walked into his room and stripped his bed of his covers, moving to the bedsheets. They would be perfect for what he was about to do. He carefully took them all into his arms and headed back for the living room, standing on the chair and tying the sheets around the fan securely.

 

 

Before pulling the final move, Joel got down from the chair and glanced around. He wanted a final glance at the world he was about to leave behind; he would miss it. But the world just wasn’t worth living in if he ended up killing one of his good friends.

 

—

 

 

"I think we should check on him before we leave,” Jack said, parking his car once more.

 

"Why?" Matt inquired, completely confused as too why they would need to do that; Joel seemed perfectly fine now.

 

"Think about it Matt, Joel was acting as if he was okay. He didn’t even protest after you yelled at him, what if he was playing with us? If you think about that, think about what he could do now; what if he did something terrible to himself right now?" Jack explained.

 

Matt didn’t respond to Jack as he leaped out of the car and ran as fast as he could into the apartment.

 

"Joel!" He yelled as loud as he could when he saw what Joel was doing. There his friend was, standing on a chair with some sheets tied to the fan. He ran to the chair and knocked it over, sending Joel flying to the ground.

 

"What in the fucking hell where you doing?!"

 

Joel groaned and sat up, the shock that he had been knocked over settling in.

 

"Hating myself."

 

"Why?!"

 

"I put my good friend in a coma, Matt!" Joel finally snapped, balling up his fist and sending it flying, right into Matt’s stomach. Matt let out an ‘oof’ and walked backwards, trying to breath.

 

"I’m sorry," Joel whispered a few minutes later, collapsing to the ground.

 

Jack followed after Matt once he leaped out of the car. When he heard Matt scream, he knew his hunch had been correct. As the reached the doorway, he saw Joel a crumbled mess on the floor and saw Matt staggering backwards, gaining slow balance.

 

"You should be sorry, you had us worried!" Jack scolded, having heard Joel say sorry, walking into the room and shutting the door. Joel didn’t say a word, just looked at the ground as if it were the most interesting thing in the room. Matt sighed and walked forwards, kneeling down in front of Joel.

 

Jack did the same, all the while glaring at his friend,

 

"How many times do we have to tell you till you get it through your thick skull that its not your fault?!” Jack spat, wanting to punch Joel right there. "Sure, you asked a stupid question; that doesn’t mean its your fault! Michael ended up in the hospital due to his own damn actions, not yours Joel!"

 

Joel rolled his eyes and looked at Jack and Matt, a vapid look covering his expressions.

 

"You don’t need to be sorry because it wasn’t your fault. I may not have been there Joel, but seriously. You have got to stop this, we can’t loose you," Matt said, looking at his friend with honesty. Joel looked back down at the carpet, finally about to cry.

 

"Joel!" Jack shouted, frustrated with him, yet relieved that they had caught him in time.

 

"I believe you," Joel said barely above a whisper. A few tears trailed down his cheek.

 

"What?" Matt asked, a bit more calmed down than Jack.

 

"I believe you!" Joel shouted, the tears now streaming down his face. He wiped them away furiously.

 

"What makes us think we can believe you?" Jack shouted at him.

 

"You just can!"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My Tumblr is imthemavintoyourdestiel is you would like to follow!


	3. Don't Lose Hope

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Someone special comes to visit after hearing about Michael.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wrote this while Courtney and Ray were still dating. I do apologize.

The raven sighed softly as he soon fell into a deep slumber. At first, he saw nothing but the black depths of his mind, but soon it started to change. Soon lights started to surround him, and Ray felt himself getting pulled into a dream. There he was, sitting at a table filled with smiles. Lindsay, Michael, Courtney, and Gavin all were laughing at a horrible joke that he had just finished saying.

 

"This is odd, why is everyone here?" he thought tiredly, still ‘waking’ up. It was then that Lindsay and Michael stood and smiled at the other three before walking off. Ray, shrugging it off, made conversation with Gavin and Courtney and started talking about things ranging from nothing to everything.

 

After awhile, Gavin asked where Lindsay and Michael had wandered off to, and Courtney had agreed.

 

"I’ll go look for them," Ray said happily and stood to walk away from the two. It was then that the scene changed and he stood in front of two paths. Confused, he walked down the one on the left. He wondered what sort of things he would find down this strange path.

 

"GET OUT OF HERE RAY!" The scene changed once again and he was standing in front of a very horrid sight. Michael stood there, yelling at him to leave. But the scary look was Michael himself. The ginger had cuts all down his arms and he was holding a knife to the center of his throat, he looked more upset than anything.

 

That was when Michael quickly moved the knife, he slit his throat and almost instantly, Ray saw blood gush from his neck. Ray ran over to Michael and tried to cover the slit on his neck, screaming for some form of help, but he attained none.

 

The scene changed again and Ray found himself watching Lindsay trying to get out of a burning building. The girl was almost at the entrance when the pillar fell on her. Ray ran over to help her, hoping he could save her since he hadn’t saved Michael. He was wrong.

 

When he pulled Lindsay out from under the pillar, both of her legs were ripped off and she was bleeding from it.

 

Ray screamed in agony as more and more blood pooled around him and he sat there, in the burning building.

 

Then the scene changed once again.

 

Ray screamed in agony as he saw a burning forest in front of him with Courtney dodging branches that where falling. He soon lost his voice, trying his best to scream, but nothing was coming out.

 

"Ray! Help please!" She screamed, looking up to notice a branch falling above her. Ray saw the look of horror on her face as the burning branch fell on her. Ray was in total shock, but eventually ran to her.

 

"Courtney!" He tried to shout, but to his dismay, nothing came out. He ran as fast as he could to her, noticing that her legs where crushed and the dress she was wearing was on fire, the fire spreading quickly. He tried putting it out, already knowing it was too late.

 

"Ray, save yourself," She mouthed as her head collapsed on the grass. Ray walked a few steps back, shaking his head. The scene changed again, this time at the RoosterTeeth building. He walked inside it, curious as to why he was here. He had tears streaming down his face, but he simply did not care.

 

As he rounded the corner to the Achievement Hunter office he noticed Gavin, sitting there, with a gun to his heart.

 

"Gavin..? GAVIN NO!" He yelled, his voice back. Gavin gave Ray a sympathetic look before he pulled the trigger. Things started going in slow motion as the bullet broke the layer of skin and much more to get to the heart. Ray saw the blood gush out of the newly made hole, and he saw how Gavin’s head bounced as it wasn’t able to stay up anymore. Ray couldn’t stand it anymore, he collapsed to ground, screaming. Screaming about Gavin’s death. Screaming about Lindsay’s death. Screaming about Courtney’s death. Screaming about Michael’s death. Screaming about everything.

 

And once more the scene changed, making Ray try to cower on the ground, he held his hands to his ears and screamed, he screamed his heart out. He couldn’t handle it anymore; he didn’t want to see anymore people dieing around him. Eventually, the scene never changed so he knew he would have to press onwards. But he was just to scared; he couldn’t bare to see anymore.

 

He sobbed as he stood up, staggering as he tried to stand up straight. When he looked up, he saw arrows pointing in a direction. The raven haired Hispanic whimpered and pressed forwards, too scared to even guess what was the next thing he was going to see. As he turned the corner, he could hear the laughter coming from a voice that was way too familiar; one that seemed to resemble his own.

And there he, himself, stood. Ray Narvaez Junior stood over the bodies of his dead companions; even the bodies of his other friends. He was laughing hysterically – no, he was laughing impractically. His gaze turned to Ray and the male wanted to run away, he immediately felt a cold aura surround him.

 

"You killed them all! You lied to them all!" Ray screamed at the cowering man and in that moment, he pulled out a pole. Ray watched as the split image of himself began walking towards him, the pole in hand. He wanted to run, to get away from the monster known as himself; but he couldn’t move.

 

He stood there, completely frozen in fear as the monster creeped closer and closer. Once they were too close for comfort, Ray tried to speak but yet again, no words escaped his lips.

 

And then the monster kicked Ray in the gut, knocking him back onto the ground. The monster then hovered over him, holding the pole over his heart. Then it happened.

 

He thrusted the pole down-

 

Brown eyes opened as the Hispanic bolted up from the couch, breathing hard with a frozen scream placed on his lips. Ray looked around, his eyes instantly finding Michael and Gavin sleeping on the hospital bed. He looked around, still panting and sighed in relief.

 

"Just a dream, Ray. Just a dream." He reassured himself softly, standing up and reaching into his pocket. He was in no mood to go back to sleep, so he did the second best thing.

 

He pulled out his phone and dialed the one number he could think of right now; Daniel Gruchy’s. As the phone began to ring, Ray stepped out of the hospital room and tried to catch his breath before Dan picked up on the other line.

 

"Ray? Why are you calling me? It’s the middle of the night there," Dan asked, worried for his boyfriend.

 

Ray was sweating and breathing heavily, some tears streaming down his face from the dream he recently had.

 

"Dan.. Please come to American," Ray begged.

 

"I’m already in the airport to come to America, Ray. Geoff called me yesterday and told me what happened so I booked a plane. Now tell me, what’s wrong?"

 

"I had a horrible dream," Ray told him.

 

"What was this dream about?"

 

"I’ll tell you once you arrive here. Just please talk to me until you have to get on your plane."

 

"I have to get on it in about an hour, so we can talk for an hour."

 

"Got it. What did Geoff tell you?" They continued to talk until Dan had to get on his plane. Ray, feeling much better after talking to the person he loves, walked back to the couch, pulling the blanket over him and started to watch Michael and Gavin sleeping so peacefully, shoving his dream and Michael’s condition to the back of his mind.

 

Dan was worried as he boarded on the plane to America. Whatever the dream had been, Ray had been utterly mortified and scared to go back to sleep. He really hoped everything was okay. Sighing, Dan looked outside the plane window and bit his lip in worry. Ray was upset from a dream, and Michael was in a coma; what else was going to happen in the span of two days? He hoped nothing.

 

—-

 

When Gavin woke up that morning, he was confused; why was he in a hospital bed? And the second question was; who is in the bed next to me? When he sat up and looked over, he was shocked to see it was Michael. But then realization of last night hit him and Gavin wanted to sob his heart out. Michael was in a coma because of him, it was always his fault.

 

Gavin looked over to see Ray sleeping soundlessly on the couch.

 

 _I should have told Michael that you and Dan were dating before he spoke up. If I had done that, none of this would have happened._ Gavin thought; he failed to notice the tears falling from his eyes as he just sat there, looking at the ginger next to him.

 

What if Michael never woke up? Worse, what if he woke up and had amnesia? Or if he hated Gavin and never wanted to see him again. These thoughts all ran through his head and he wanted to sob harder, but he knew Ray was in the room and he was trying to be as quiet as possible.

This was when Gavin suddenly felt rage inside himself. Why had he allowed Michael to cut himself? Why hadn’t he spoken up about the secret relationship between Ray and Dan?! How come he didn’t do anything?!

 

With these thoughts in mind, Gavin just let out a sob; not caring anymore. It wasn’t as if anyone was going to come in the room right now. No one was going to see Gavin break, no one was going to see him sobbing over the only person he had been crushing on for the last two years. Ray wouldn’t wake up, Michael wouldn’t wake up, no doctors would come in, and of course no one they knew would be coming this early in the morning.

 

Gavin slid down, off the bed, and curled up into his knees. He cried. He cried harder than he had done last night, he cried for everything. He was crying because it was his fault, he cried because he had done this to Michael. How could he do such a thing to his little Mi-Cool? Gavin could do nothing but cry.

 

Gavin continued to cry, his eyes turning red from all the tears flowing through them. His nose running and his eyes stinging, he started to hit himself. For not being there for Michael, for not telling anyone, for not answering the question sooner, for not following Michael up the stairs, for.. for being himself. Gavin hated himself at the moment. He didn’t deserve to live. He should be the one in the coma right now. He shouldn’t be the healthy one. Gavin let out a loud sob as the thoughts rummaged through his mind.

 

"Gavin..?" Ray said, sitting up on the couch, now realizing that he fell asleep. "Something wrong?" His voice now visibly worried. Gavin quickly put himself together, acting as if nothing was wrong.

 

"N-no," he stuttered.

 

Ray walked over to Gavin, plopping next to the Brit.

 

"Tell me," he said strictly. Gavin tried to keep calm, but a second at staring at Ray’s face, he collapsed into sobs.

 

"It’s my fault Ray, he’s in a coma because of me. I didn’t tell them, I didn’t follow Michael up those steps, I didn’t try to stop the bleeding, I didn’t even take him to the hospital. I’m useless, Ray. I should be the one in the coma right now. I shouldn’t be healthy," Gavin was sobbing again, extremely mad at himself.

 

"Shhhh," Ray started to shush Gavin. "You aren’t useless, Gavin. No, you should not be in a coma right now, nor should Michael. We both should of followed him. I could tell he was hurt by what he thought you were going to say. I should of told them. None of this was your fault, Gavin. None of it."

 

"But it is my fault Ray! I hurt Michael!" he started to protest, but was stopped by Ray pulling him into a tight hug.

 

"No Gavin, it is not. Do not blame yourself, please don’t," he said, petting Gavin’s hair in a soothing way. He didn’t know what else to do, he could tell Gavin about his dream last night, but that would just make him all the more upset; Ray didn’t want Gavin to beat himself up anymore.

 

Standing up, Ray held out a hand to have Gavin stand.

 

"All that matters is we’re alright, okay?" the Hispanic said calmly, helping the Brit stand on his feet. He slowly guided Gavin to the couch and sat him down, sitting next to him.

 

"Everything is going to be alright. Michael will wake up soon, and nothing that happened before will matter," he said, giving off a reassuring smile; a little bit of it was false.

 

Gavin gave a nod and sighed, his eyes blotched and bloodshed from crying. He laid his head on Ray’s shoulder and watched as Michael’s heart monitor beeped.

 

"What if…What if he doesn’t-"

 

"Don’t you even dare say that Gavin. Don’t you fucking dare say Michael won’t wake up. He’s Morgar! Of course he’ll wake up."

 

"You’re right, I guess." Gavin let out a small chuckle.

 

"Of course I’m right!" Ray said, trying to make Gavin smile slightly.

 

He had succeeded, but knowing Gavin; it had been false as well. The two members of Team Lads gave simultaneous sighs and both continued to watch Michael as he slept. They were both glad he was okay, they were very happy with just the thought of Michael waking up,but they still also had their doubts.

 

Gavin had dosed off yet again as there was a knock as the door. Ray looked up at the door, seeing the shadow of someone standing there. He slowly, and silently, slid Gavin off of his shoulder and went to open the door.

 

When he opened it he had familiar lips on his.

 

"Dan," He mumbled into the kiss, a smile forming into the kiss.

 

"I missed you, Ray!" Dan yelled breaking the kiss. "How’s Gavin and Michael?" Dan asked, suddenly serious.

 

"Well, Michael is, um," Dan nodded his head, "and Gavin fell asleep right before you came," Ray answered.

 

Gavin stirred slightly at the sound of Dan yelling, but he didn’t wake from his sleep. Ray smiled at that; Gavin really deserved the sleep. Realizing they were still in the doorway, Ray pulled Dan into the room and shut the door behind them.

 

"I only heard a little bit from Geoff, can I ask what exactly happened, or are you not up to it?" Dan asked softly, keeping his voice lowered as Gavin slept.

 

Ray took a second to think it over. He sighed sadly and leaned against the wall closest to the window. He allowed himself to slide down to the floor and wrap his arms around his knees.

 

"It was horrible Dan," he started, looking at the ground instead of up at his boyfriend. Dan allowed his expression to change from serious to a caring expression as he walked over and leaned next to the window as Ray sat down by his leg.

 

"I’m here to listen, so don’t push yourself. Go as far as you can without losing everything," he said, looking down at his boyfriend.

 

Ray nodded and began to speak,

 

"We were all playing games, in honor of Griffon’s birthday party. We started playing Truth or Dare while Gavin was passed out, and really that’s when everything began to happen." Ray, tilting his head so he was looking at Dan’s right leg.

 

"It was all well up until the point Gavin woke up." Ray let out a sigh. "He was truth or dared and well, he choose truth." Dan listened carefully as Ray explained. He couldn’t help but wonder what kind of truth Gavin had been asked that had led up to…Well, this.

 

Ray prevented the tears building up at his eyes to slide down his cheeks as he continued to tell Dan what happened, “Well, Joel asked Gavin who he would rather date, you, or Michael. He didn’t know who he would choose,” Ray continued as he wiped a tear away. “He didn’t want to offend anyone, so he refused to answer. Eventually Michael spoke up and said that he wouldn’t be offended if he said you, and well Michael cracked after that. He ran to his office an-and.. he cut himself, and by the time Gavin and I got up there, it…it was too late,” Ray started to cry. He shoved his knees closer to his head.

 

Dan didn’t say a word as Ray began to tell him what had been asked. Michael had thought Gavin was going to choose Dan over him?

 

"Gavin and I are just friends, and I thought Gavin remembered you and I were dating," Dan muttered softly, so not to disrupt Ray as he continued. When Ray started to cry, Dan cropped down into a sitting position next to him and pulled Ray closer to him.

 

"Shh, its okay babe, just calm down," he said, lifting Rays face and kissing away the tears.

 

"Don’t cry, we don’t want to wake up Gavin, alright?" he asked as he pulled away from Ray’s face and just pulled the younger man into his lap and held him there.

 

"You’re right, I have to put on a calm facade, for Gavin," Ray whispered, letting his head rest on Dan’s shoulder. Dan shook his head.

 

"No, you don’t have to put up a facade, just calm down Ray," Dan reassured as he rubbed his boyfriends back.

Ray sighed, he was crying a lot lately; everyone probably has been. He sighed once more and stayed with his head on Dan’s shoulder.

 

"Do you really believe things are going to be alright Dan?"

 

"I do. I believe Michael will wake up, and him and Gavin can live happily as a couple. I believe that you’ll eventually come out of the closet and we can live happily as a non-hidden couple. I believe that everything will be fine in the end," Dan said with confidence.

 

"Yeah, but I can’t help but doubt that idea," Ray responded, sniffing from his recent crying.

 

"Please don’t lose hope, sweety. I know Michael is one of your best friends, and part of Team Lads, but you don’t need to lose hope. Losing hope is horrible, and having hope if very good."

 

"I got it. I won’t lose hope."

 

"Good," Dan responded, then kissed Ray, wiping away a few tears that had fallen down his cheek. They sat down on the couch next to Gavin and snuggled. Dan knew snuggling with Ray always made Ray feel better in any situation.

 

Ray sighed contently as he sat there in Dan’s arms, watching as Gavin slept soundlessly. He was still doubtful about everything Dan had said would be all right, but he wouldn’t let Dan hear that. He wondered if everything really would be good in the end, but he just couldn’t picture it.

 

"Monkey nipples," Gavin muttered in his sleep and Ray just couldn’t stand it anymore. He started to laugh. He was starting to laugh really hard, and he didn’t no why. All that happened was Gavin saying the stupidest of things, but it just made him want to laugh harder. He started to hold his stomach and just laughed more. Shaking his head he stood up off of Dan and ran outside of the Hospital room, so not to wake up Gavin, and laughed more; god he needed water.

 

It felt good to laugh, it really did. He was smiling as he tried to keep in his laugh on his walk to the restroom. He knew that laughing at the little, stupid, things meant he was really sad inside, but just the thought of Gavin, being asleep, saying such stupid things, just made him want to laugh his heart out and cry happy tears.

—-

 

Dan laughed softly as Ray left the room; he was glad to see the raven laughing, he really was. He himself chuckled when Gavin had said such a stupid thing, but it was still slightly funny. And in these sad times, some people really needed funny things to laugh at.

 

"Mm, Ray?" Gavin said softly, stirring from his sleep. He had heard Ray begin to laugh and wondered why he had been laughing. So of course, he had began to wake up after that. He sat up and wiped the sleep out of his eyes before looking up.

 

"B!" He shouted, jumping up and wrapping his arms around the darker haired Brit, forgetting where he was and what happened for a quick second. The smile quickly faded as he looked around and remembered all of what was going on.

 

"What are you doing here?" He asked Dan, forcing a smile back on his face.

 

"Ray called me. He told me what happened. Please, B. I know that smile is fake. You don’t need to fake a smile for me. It’s only harming you more," Dan said with sympathy in his voice.

 

"You know everything?" Gavin asked, his voice like a helpless puppy.

 

"Yes. I’m assuming that Ray didn’t hide anything from me."

 

"Okay," Gavin responded, walking over to the auburn laying there. He went down on his knees and stared at him. Stared at the chest that went up and down in sync to the steady melody of his breathing. The blond Brit started playing with the messy red lock of curls Michael had. He chuckled thinking of what he could do to this perfect body if it where to wake up. He felt a hand on his shoulder and he looked up into the green eyes of Daniel Gruchy, his childhood friend, and the other Slow Mo Guy.

 

"I missed you, B," Gavin whispered, a tear flowing down his cheek.

 

 

 

Ray drank from the paper cup of water he got, still forcing himself not to laugh. Those two words echoed in his head.

 

 _What is so funny about them?_ He thought to himself, before spitting out the water, and laughing again.

 

He couldn’t get the thought out of his head! Slowing down his laughter and chuckling. Ray knew he would have to keep those thoughts in his mind if things got worse. He looked down and noticed that his water was empty, he just smiled at the cup. Daniel was right, everything was going to be perfectly fine. Michael will wake up. He and Gavin will start dating. Maybe Ray himself, would come out of the closet to his friends and tell them that he and Dan had been dating the whole time. Maybe things could look better.

 

But that was where his thoughts stopped. They were once again overcome by the doubt hidden in his mind. He could feel something bad about to happen,he really could. It was like he just knew something was going on; something was going to go horribly wrong. He just couldn’t pin point just what. As his smiled faded, Ray stood up and headed back to the room where Michael was emitted.

 

"Don’t think about it," Ray muttered to himself as he turned down the corridor. He wondered if Gavin had woken up, wondered if he and Dan were talking right now. He sighed as he drew closer to the elevator and pressed on floor seven.

 

—

 

 

"I know you did," Dan replied softly, his eyes looking at Michael. How could the ginger do this to himself just because of a simple question? At the thought, he wondered how long had Michael kept it a secret; how long had he been cutting, too? He sighed softly, too many unanswered question that could only be answered by the male in a coma himself.

 

"So…Why come to Texas just for this? You could…You could be doing more important things," Gavin said after a few minutes of silence. He was still gazing down at Michael, playing with his hair as he said these things out loud. Dan, for a moment, was taken aback by the comment.

 

"Why? Because you’re my friend Gavin. The guy you love is unconscious and you’re hurting by it. You are beating yourself up and blaming everything on yourself, you need a friend. That is why you have Ray and I, we will forever be by your side, even if you start doing such horrid things, we’re here for you. That is why I am here, right now, standing next to you. Because I care and I want to help you all," he didn’t hesitate or stammer on words as he said this; it was all true from his heart. He couldn’t stand seeing Ray cry; let alone Gavin in pain and Michael in a coma. He didn’t want to see any of this. If Ray had been knocked unconscious, Dan would have gone hysterical; much like how Gavin is going over Michael right now.

 

**Author's Note:**

> My Tumblr is imthemavintoyourdestiel is you would like to follow!


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